Our own energy can be used in a smart and constructive way if we become conscious of some decisions we make in certain decisions.
Many times we get in bad and crazy situations like a car crash, loosing a train, someone canceling their participation to the very important meeting, loosing your wedding ring or your precious photo camera and so on.
Now, the most common reaction is a range of strong emotions like rage, upset, hate, disappointment which squeeze the energy out of us. This makes our head pop, we forget how human it is to make mistakes, we are prepared to start a conflict even though this is not necessary at times.
More constructive to this would be if we would just shift our mind to the next step, if we would adapt very fast. It is more logical from multiple points of view to do that.
First, we stay focused and clear. If we get crazy, we can’t even remember where we left the keys and we don’t listen too much. In a state of conflict, we are always looking to win.
Second, we save energy. Let’s say we lost the train and it’s important to reach a place. The best thing would be to think fast of an alternative way to get there (bus, thumb up, taxi, rent a car) or look for the next one, depending on how important it is. If we curse the day and kill someone, it’s not going to help.
It is so simple to do this, yet a lot of people loose this from their sight, they set free their first reaction that comes in mind. But if for 20 seconds we could think or analyze what to do next, we become aware of the situation.
The same goes in a conflict with a friend, partner or husband/wife. We often say things when we’re angry that we later regret. We wish to hurt the other one as a revenge. If for 20 seconds (my personal estimate on this) we could hold that thought or action and think about it, then we would realize that we shouldn’t say or do it.
Come to think about it, being angry is a paradox because you do things without thinking too much. You just do it. But in other normal situations, we often spend too much time thinking if we should to a thing or not. Should I kiss him, should I ask for a raise, should I experience windsurfing, should I try new things…here is where thinking stops the actions. If sometimes we could reverse this, great things would happen in our lives.
This is a process, I believe, that can be learned if we train ourselves.